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  • 28
    Aug

    working mom

    I have been quite busy these past few weeks, with the move out from old house and transfer to the new one. Day to day activities has been chaos. I can barely cope up with everyday stress and things to do, but they still have to be done, and fortunately I managed or so I thought I did. Being busy at work and home at the same time is not a joke. At first I thought working from home is as easy as 123, but it’s not. Having your own home office, working at your own time pace on projects and things you choose and like to do sounds very convenient. Yes, I do find it comfy, but it takes a lot of proper time management to fulfill them all. I enjoy doing them and will keep doing them until I believe I can. And I’ve learned that everything don’t come easy. Sometimes things even have a price behind though. But on my end the relationship between me and my little girl has been so great. We have more time together and lots of moments to spend having fun and stuff. Where else can you get a sweet tight hug and kisses anytime when your head is aching cause of work? Nowhere else but home. Those tiny kisses wash aways my headaches.

    I guess as today, what I wanted for work and time for her is what I asked for and I’m glad it’s mine to keep.

    ~Shaz

    02
    Aug

    Love Quarrels

    Who says love quarrels stops when you marry? I guess not. I think fights and misunderstandings are part of all relationships. Romantic or platonic, it’s there. Some says it makes the love grow fonder. It adds spice to the relationship. It makes it stronger and sturdier. But some thinks it’s the start of more upcoming disagreements, more arguments, and somehow fallouts. Maybe it would depend on the weight of the clash. Difference of opinion is usually top the list when it comes to couples arguing. Having different views on something you both need to face is quite hard to handle especially if none is willing to give in. Thing is, when one keeps on giving in just for the peace of all, then none is being resolved at all. What if time comes that all the giving in runs out? Would everything end there? Maybe so, unless both parties get the guts to apologize to each other and try to work things out. But if not, it’s best to bid farewell. No one would want to stay in a crumbling relationship. But if both are willing to give in and have another try of it, better. ‘Love is sweeter the second time around’ so our old folks always says. Sweeter because you already know how to avoid clashing, how to pass up arguments, how to stay away from sarcastic rows that you both know will start an ugly fight. You get to be mature enough in handling ‘lovers quarrels’ when you see one coming your way.  Probably it is best to shun things away when you think it’s too petty and just let it go. But if it’s a big issue, it is best to set a time for a serious talk. Talks can always help fix things, it’s always the best way to mend and patch things up. It’s worth a try if the love is all worth it.

    ~Shaz

    29
    Jul

    change

    The only thing that is consistent in this world is change. Yes, CHANGE. Each of us have different reactions to change. Some it’s normal and easy, like it’s an everyday occurrence of their lives. To some, pretty hard. That it takes them quite a while before they finally feel at ease and relaxed with the particular change. There are different kinds of changes. Environmental change – one I’m going through these days as I finally decided to move out my house after almost 10years of stay for good and practical reasons. However, that is not my point today, the change all of us has undergone at least once in our lives is emotional change, in other words Change of Heart. When love fades, what then?  For some it’s like it’s the end of the world. Simply because for the longest time they have revolved their life to one person alone. That when time comes that that same person felt like the relationship is not going anywhere and dropped the bomb, the world crumbles beneath your feet. I know it is the best feeling to fall in love, more so be loved. It’s like sunshine on your window. A rainbow over your head. And the scent of pretty flowers fill your nostrils and makes you high everytime. It’s a lovely feeling. But because of it you tend to focus your world to one person alone. Forgetting you should not. Or at least leave a tiny part of your heart for yourself. Just in case, that tiny part will serve as holding ground to help you overcome and live again. Because if you don’t, things get worse. Like Armageddon has landed on your feet. Nobody wants that, no… never. It’s just a simple reminder, that to be able to give love better, you have to learn to leave a little love for yourself. That is not hard. Not too much to ask of yourself too.

    ~Shaz

    03
    Jul

    Top 5 Dating Tips

    Dating is a profound word when it comes to single people…. women, most especially. It is because single women feel more uneasy around not-so-single women… friends or even those at work. It seems that being single is a curse. Hmmm…. in the old centuries, maybe. Now, not anymore. However, going on dates is still taboo. Why? Simply because we like it. We enjoy it and we have fun. Here are the top 5 Dating Tips for Single women… or men, it’s fine.
    #1 Be optimistic during the date
    Try to be on the positive aura while on the date. Meaning, talk with a little glee, show that you are glad to be with him too. Do not talk negatively about the dating stuff and how awful it is to undergo getting-to-know-you process and how it takes lots of time to finally know the man is right for you. Be a romantic, besides you accepted the date.

    #2 Drink moderately
    Remember that you are there to date the man not challenge him for a drinking duel. How else can you know him better if you are tipsy? And how well would you know how ‘naughty’ (or not) you had been the night before to expect him to call you back? Too much alcohol is out the dinner-date table.

    #3 Exes are not a topic for conversation
    Who would want to talk about their exes when on a date with the ‘hunk’ on top floor of your apartment? As much as possible, that is not a topic to choose from. But if it is unavoidable to talk about exes, never badmouth yours. Not matter how badly you have been hurt, don’t pour out on him (or her) on a date. Secrets are told when he’s your boyfriend for months or when you’re out of town or most likely getting hitched. It will make you sound less wounded and hanged-up on your ex.

    #4 Never chase your date
    It is ok for women to ask men out on a first date, hey! It’s the millennium, it’s fine. But after that let him take his time to ask you for a second. Do not look so needy that you almost be pursuing him for a second date. Men don’t like being chased. They like being played. Enticed. Tickle their fancies and when you hit them it is for sure they will call you for the second round. And when they do, it is a sign that they are likely to stick around you for awhile.

    #5 Learn how to leave properly
    To enjoy a great date is not a problem, the night goes by perfectly and smoothly. The date ends normally. But how to get out of a date, when you feel terrible and bored? Knowing in the middle of the date that you have made the wrong move of going out with him (or her) and you think it’s too late because the main dish was ordered and your soup is served. It will not be rude if you can gather yourself, smile and tell quickly that you think it is best that you go and it has been nice meeting him (her). Stand up and shake his hand and exit smoothly. It may be a little surprising for him but at least you have chosen to be bold enough to tell the truth before he endures a soundless dinner with you and pays for the steak you never have eaten than excusing yourself to the powder room and never comes back. Now who’s rude?

    Take notes and try to do it right on first dates. Never fall on the negatives to make your first dates turn into a second. Happy dating!

    ~Shaz

    26
    Jun

    Reply on: Shunning Commitments

    Hi Steve, It’s nice of you to consider writing here and sharing with us your valuable story. I know it is always hard to cross the line from friendship to a couple. Many factors will be considered. One is being of the same mind, another is do both see eye to eye, and if both have the same beliefs. In your case, your friend and you have common opinion about friends-with-benefits setup. And it worked well until she wanted more. It is the obvious that in most cases, women tend to fall first on this kind of setup. And it would also mean that the guy would to be deciding what should happen to the relationship. Just like what you did, you repelled and that made her try to divert her feelings to another. Too late for you I shall say, for she has tried hard to move on and live with your decision. It is not always easy to just convert couple relationship to none. You have an obvious fright over responsibilities and/or commitment and she wanted you to take a try on it but rather made you go. That is normal for most bachelors, don’t worry you are not an exemption. However, you could have tried to reason out with her and let her feel she is just as important to you and that you are not just yet ready for the big step. But leaving and not even trying is purely inexcusable. Going after her would not solve the problem. Especially that is not what you believe in. I guess what you did is fine to your level of principles. It is never wrong to live up to what you believe in even though hurting yourself in the process. It’s a living wound you just have to face again alone. Thanks for writing and sharing your story, it’s my pleasure to talk with you. All the best and God Bless!~Shaz

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